TOP TEN

You knew it was coming.  

What is the nastiest thing you have found in your theater...?

Well....Lucky You.

I Have a TOP 10 Nastiest Things I Have Found!

10

A 'pocket rocket'  - don't know what that is...??

It's a small vibrator. And I touched it.  Yeah. Ugh.

9

Used tissues.  In the cup holder...After 50 Shades of Grey.  I have learned to wear gloves...But sometimes I forget - And cleaning out the cup holders can be the WORST!  

Like...Gee...Thanks...You left a wad of napkins, that are wet with mysterious goo...Thanks!

8

 A zip lock filled with urine.
Hey guys...Don't do this.  I thought it was BUTTER....and made the mistake of unzipping the bag...and the smell of piss was overwhelming!

IF YOU HAVE TO PEE...GO TO THE TOILET!

There's a GREAT app, so you can pee and not miss any of the movie!

It's called - runpee 

GET IT!

7

Dirty diaper....that was so full, crap was overflowing....And someone was kind enough to shove it inside the recliner cracks...Ya....I was thankful for gloves!

6

Used condoms.

Yeah...People impress me.

And just so you people know...we SWEEP the theaters.  

We don't chlorox anything...so sit at your own risk.

At least it was SAFE SEX.

5

Hypodermic Needle.  In the seat crack.
COME ON PEOPLE!

4

A set of DENTURES!

I found this actually TWICE!!
I received the phone call from the one of the customers...It was funny...
"Hi...Um so I lost something in your theater lastnight....My wife doesn't know yet..but did you happen to find any teeth..?"

3

MICE MICE MICE....

Yep.  They are everywhere!  What do you expect?!  

You people and your disgustingness are the reason for them!  

You are filthy and mice love you!

One good thing though...I know EXACTLY what a rotting mouse corpse smells like, and it's most likely going to be found under your seat!

Enjoy the Show!

2

VOOOOMMMIIITTTT!

Yeah...That's pretty much everywhere too.  

I don't get it....If you're sick....STAY THE FUCK HOME!

If you're at the theater and feeling sick...
GO THE FUCK HOME!

 Know what we do for vomit...?

We just sprinkle this Magic shit all over it, to cover up the smell, then sweep the chunks up.

So this kid...chucks, right in the middle of FROZEN...

Packed theater.  Can't really do anything about it.

Just sprinkle that AMAZING Magic Gel over said vomit..and go on with the show.

READY FOR NUMBER ONE....?

If you read my other posts, you saw the LEGEND in the Pretzel Box, right...?  I mean what's COOL about that...Is that the crew still talks about it...They say things like ---
"OMG - YOU'RE THE POOP LADY?"

Yes...Yes I am...

Autographs upon request.  

Ok .. But I think THIS situation may top 'The Legend'

Ready..?

Really?

You sure..?

You may never go back to the theater again...

Ok - I'll tell you.

It's POOP related...You REALLY sure...?

It also may have a little vomit too.

My vomit.

Yeah....Because I had to CLEAN UP SOMEONES DIARRHEA ! 

BY MYSELF!

ALL OVER OUR NICE NEW RECLINERS!



ADULT DIARRHEA!
It was everywhere....UP THE BACK of the chair....In the sides...down the middle.

WHY GOD???? WHYYYYY?????