SEX

It happens more than you think.  More than you HOPE...and Yeah...I've actually witness a few things, more than I care to admit to...But Hey....This is a blog about where I don't have to hold back...so why not!?

People are disgusting, no doubt about it.  

The things I have witness at MY theater, would probably not only make you blush....But also toss your frickin' cookies.

I get the 'thrill' of 'doing it' in places you could get caught...But come on...this is MORE than getting caught...This is a FELONY and a life time of possible regret...

One would think.

THREE instances come to mind, when thinking about my experiences with sex in a theater....NO.....NOT MY PERSONAL experiences...I'm adventurous, but I draw the line at parking lots.

ACT 1-

 So...I was pretty new, and I had this customer come out to complain about "noises" coming from behind him.    "Ok...Ok...I'll go check it out..."  So, we (a supervisor and me)  go...walk up the back stairs, so that we can sneak up on whoever was making said noises....And get this...there was like 5 people total in this auditorium....So like, ya, we figured out pretty easily who was responsible....

I swear.  This girl, was on her knees in front of this guy...going to town....I jingled my keys as to possibly get their attention....but that didn't do anything.... So, I say. "A-hem...excuse me....you...uh...can't do that here...."  (Trying not to laugh)  The girl slowly gets up....wipes her mouth and asks..."Why not...Its a free Country...?"

Oh----The----Stupidity!

ACT 2-

I get that some movies are sooo boring, or bad....that one may ask themselves why they are there watching that movie....I mean, I have seen some movies that have me questioning how it made it off the idea board....But I mean....As long as you leave before the movie is over...Come get a refund...and spend that money on something else....DON'T TRY AND GET CREATIVE WITH YOUR TIME!

One day...During a really bad MADEA movie.....a couple was, I guess just bored and decided to get their groove on....But THIS TIME....The auditorium was packed!

TWICE.  This customer came out to tell us...."I think there are people having sex...."  

We go in....see nothing the first time....But the second time we go....

Yeah....At least they had a blanket wrapped around their bottom half....The top half though....She had her arms in her shirt...but she had pulled the front, up and over her head...so, them boobies were for all to see.  No shame.  We kicked those 2 out.  No refund....Since the girl called me a "Cock-blocking Bitch"....Yeah...so sorry to ruin your romantic evening.

ACT 3-

Employees.  Gave a whole new meaning to "When you have time to lean...You have time to clean..."

They were leaning alright...

I was asked where ...Let's call him 'Sam' was...He had a tendency to disappear, leaving the  ushers short-handed...So- I decided to go on a hunt.  

Not in the break room...

Not in any of the cleaning closets....

Ahhh but theatre 7...

There you are Sam!

FOUND YOU!

And...I also found 'Matt'.

Yup.

Use your imagination on this one....I'm not sure I can type it out.